sadness

i keep bringing it upon myself. my parents are disapointed  in me for who knows what. also i wanted to spend as much time with her as i could this week before she left me for another month and i think that ticked my dad off. but oh well . i wish i had been able to say how i felt. but she seems so happy right now even though she isnt with me and i dont want her to feel what im feeling all i want is her to be happy. i wish i could make more sense when i write these but i write as it pops into my head. i just hope i can be cheered up by sunday. im fighting back the tears right now but i can feel there coming one way or another.  well thats it for now i hope she stays happy thats all i want at this point