done

i was gonna write this blog on my two choices tell her i love her and see what happens or dont tell her and jsut love from a far well it seems my choice was made for me she sends me txt not 20 mins ago saying she met somebody and she was in love. so for now i will love her from far. i will always love her and yeah this blog wiill now become the place where i will post my love for her.

well now i have 2 new choices i will write about 

one is weather or not to continue on the path im on and become the best damn firefighter/paramedic in the world 

or 

do i just give up. in a way me being a firefighter is putting a serious hold on my social life 

a couple of weeks ago was the first time in i dont know how long that i actually had fun with friends well iono im done with this blog i keep looking at the top and its making me sick 

update:

imma stay on the path of ff/medic because this town deserves a better class of life saver and im gonna give it them. and in regards to the thing on top all i can say is i will always love her but she has been gone a month and what i thought was missing in my life while she was gone. thinking hard about it ive been talking to this girl i work with and since ive been talking to her i havent felt like i was missing anything iono if this makes any sense but she called me cause she read this and said i shouldnt dwell on stufff and i better not quit the fire department on her  i know i ramble a lot but this blog makes sense to me in my head